a letter to socio


i read somewhere that letting your kid go to kindergarten/pre-kg (for the first time), feels more painfully wrenching than labour.
*but is it more painful than a haemorroid, or a root canal*? — erm,
it’s a toss-up.
but this post is for my “socio” friend… who dropped her crying three-year-old at school and is outworrying herself.
been there. done that.
— i remembered the time when i sniggered at the news of a clingy mum, who was crying when she dropped her son at first day of school. har! har! — whY do emotional midgets even reproduce? doesn’t every child go to school? what’s this soppiness about. get a life, mommy. i mean do some cross-stitch or something (this was when i was single, a journalist, covering education)

~ cut to when i was sending my first-born to school. you must remember
who i am — terrible cynic, blase reporter, emotional giant, psychology
gold medalist… and how i bawled!!
the teacher had to come out of the classroom and shoo me away, because all the other kids stopped colouring and were staring…. at this very pregnant auntie, sobbing loudly into her handbag — you could call it
‘seperation anxiety’, if you put it very mildly.
another teacher wrenched anand from dashing out of the classroom to the door; my mil wrenched me away from rushing to anand — it was all very er wrenching, heart-wrenching!
~ i made international calls to rant and got bills that made the
husband ask why i didnt take the flight instead (cheaper)
it was the same story everyday… for a month. we both cried buckets in
the morning, until my second son arrived. and then i doubly cried
because i had a shooting pain in the wrong area.

the conclusion is this, socio: the kid has to begin to fight his own battles. you can give him empathy, courage and love (and a yummy breakfast). but it is he who must go and face up to a roomful of kids, and a teacher who pries him away from his mamma. it is he who has to face a bully who grabs his crayons, or listen to a popular boy saying “i don’t like you”;
plus, socio, don’t you have an up day and a down..?

it’s the same way for kids. maybe yesterday was a down day …now i’ve
told you this. let me see if i can work on it myself. *school re-opens on jan 5*

PS : the kiddie story is coming soon, at a blog near you… stay with us

2 responses »

  1. D: அம்மா என்னைத் தேடுவீங்களா?
    B: எப்பவும் தேடுவேன் தக்ஷூ; என் friends எல்லம் கூட என்னப் பார்த்து உன்னைத் தேடுறேன்னு கண்டுபிடிச்சி டுவாங்க! சில நேரம் அழுவேன்!
    D: அம்மா! அழக்கூடாது! எனக்காக! Pls அழக்கூடாது! சரியா? இன்னும் கொஞ்ச நாள்தானே!! சரியா?
    She ended the call in an unusually cheerful tone to make me feel better!
    What sensitivity from a 7 year old
    Glad to learn from our kids who grow faster than us!!!

  2. Thanks. Felt all special and nice with my name up there in the golden lights, in print and everything (answer to future NPR interviewer: I don’t let my fame go to my head. It’s my family and friends. They keep me grounded).

    Update: Today I dropped him off, and he gave me his adult look (with fake smile and everything), and said “Bye Mummy.”

    I think (I might even be pretty sure) that his teacher has instructed him that “big boys don’t cry in the morning,” and my little one is trying to fake it so as not to piss off his teacher.

    What’s worse? A crying kid or a kid who is sad but not crying because he doesn’t want his teacher to dislike him?

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