attn: meira and dipali. here you go…


i dont wish i were more male about some things, i just wish i was more ‘ma’ about some

ma is abrupt. She tells people exactly where they get off.
I hated that in her when I was growing up.

And dad could walk into a room, and not recognise a relative, who has been a relative for
the last 31 years.

Sandwiched between these two asocials, i tried to be the polite smiler to make up for the
collective rudeness.

and now, how gah is it that i want to help myself to some of ma’s specials.

1. tell some kids where they get off. (“One million times while growing up, I’ve prayed ma

wouldnt tell off a friend… and she did)

2. one rotten apple + 11 good ones = a dozen rotten apples was her ditty. so was not allowed
to make friends with kids who pinched,slapped, lied, talked back to grown-ups… yep. i had
like one point three friends growing up.

and now, I want to apply that rule to the firstborn.

3. look bored when some people speak.

4. never look at photo-albums of friends. not even of the grandsons. not even of my wedding.
online ones she skims through, though.

you know the kind of photo albums that i dont want to look at == the mmmim’s friends (who i
dont like) who show off their Pattaya vacation on a slide show. but i just look and ooh lala at
the right places. big fake = me.

5. never say ‘drop in’ home if she didnt mean it. and if someone did drop in, she never
asked them to take a seat. Athithi devo bhava, she is not.

6. hold a grudge lifelong. She remembers wrongdoings from 1963 November, 1973 mid-may, 2008
feb. she can tell you the lifehistory of a grudge from how it was born. (me: just found a
couple of people to hold a grudge against. oh and it’s not the mmmim)

7. deliver a 15 minute tongue-lashing. without pause. i am 2/ 5 at the tongue-lashing bit
which is pretty ok, by my standards. but i take pauses that are 10 minutes long. need to
work on.

8. she couldnt vacillate. never had nagging equivocal thoughts. never made decisions that
were between ‘neither a yes nor a no.’

9. repartee. deadpan. not as sharp as her dad’s. but just as stinging. mine are good only in
my mind. and about 24 hours too late.

10. be a misfit. and accept it.

the things that I have…er inherited

~ the pep talk. motivate friends out of comfort zones and into glory.

~ larger than life gifts. she gifted one friend a coffee maker like the ones at Starbucks. I
have inherited her appreciation for the non-birthday gift, and those ones I always remember
to give

~ more preoccupied with world news and politics than family and home. me too. not very obssessive about my role as mom/wife. it’s a significant but not a major part of who i am.

sorry. if this didnt conform to the tag rules. but am not too sure of what falls into a gender stereotype and what falls out (see that’s why i need to work on point 8). so.

all non-bloggers can feel free to do the tag — originally born here — , in this space.


13 responses »

  1. i can so relate to the “mom, please please don’t tell the friend off”.

    I used to be so pissed off with mom for that while growing up. but yeah, that made me all the more careful while choosing friends, just to make sure that the “telling off” was less.

    We had a truck load of visitors and guests all the FREAKING time while growing up(had plans canceled ever so often) and I really do think your mom’s way is THE way as to people who drop in.

    lol @ the ten minutes pause between tongue lashing!

    PS : you HAVE to reply to my comment. did i tell you i weigh 65 kgs? šŸ˜€

    • Abi you would be 65 kgs only if you stood on the scale with your laptop and your bike and your husband’s camera and your bff.
      i saw your photo, ma.

  2. I am ok with everything except #1. Would you want FB praying that you dont tell off his friends? Instead, wait for couple more years and explain things to him instead of his friends??

  3. I think I might be your mother’s true daughter. switched at birth?

    Because I am the quick tongue lashing types and my mother – just like you – will come up with a KILLER – 48 hours later:-)

  4. First time here and this post of your mom has a lot in common with me.Almost everything right from being abrupt,holding grudge,tongue lashing and being asocial,all in all.

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