experiments in hover-freezing


” i am on a vacation in kuala lumpur….”

this is what i have told firstborn:

these are the rules of this week, starting today…

1. he gets to do as he pleases
2. he thinks i am on vacation in KL
3. no hover mum
4. no rules
5. he may write a letter to me, like he would, if i was really in malaysia…

where it began…

this morning, i was in tears…

was it because firstborn smashed one litre of cow’s milk, delivered from gummidipoondi, in a glass bottle. oh. i always cry over spilt milk. the clean up and the infinite mess. even if i know it was an accident.

was it because i felt it coming for a week now. i am telling firstborn the same things over and over and over and over and turning into a parrot. a squawk box.

was it because firstborn is a one boy talkathon, and there isnt time leftover for baby param,…

was it because firstborn zoned me out and heard me after the 234th time, or did he pay attention after the 8974th time

was it because when i correct firstborn , i become like a mother with a mike and a podium — i go on for 20,000 words, where a lifted eyebrow should suffice.

was it because whenever firstborn and baby param argue, firstborn borrows liberally from my verbiage and he uses 40,000 words where a lifted eyebrow would suffice… ulp.

the experiment began 4 hours ago…


firstborn has already asked me these things: “can i call appa? can i wear this kurta? can i eat a biscuit ? can i eat another? can i eat the sweet patti sent? can i finish up the appam in the fridge? can i take a photo from your camera?
to allwhich my patient answer is “child! i am in malaysia. do what you would do if you had to decide and you knew best…”

he has called appa
he wore the kurta that doesnt fit and the wrong way round
he is reeking of sunfeast dreamcream
he has attacked the sugared and the jaggeried delights in the refridgerator; moderation — > i think my firstborn hasnt quite understood thy merits
i hope he turns off the camera, and doesnt leave it on the sofa

ps. the good news is i still get to hover over baby param


9 responses »

      • Dude, I know that!! Just take me on your virtual vacation is what I meant. I think I need to get to la-la land some how…where I can just sit and read and breathe…..

        • hey!
          this hover freeze works too…

          you just need to think you are away in KL… and believe you are eating the nasi lemak, and smelling the birds of paradise…

          try it for a couple of days…

    • my husband is YEARNING for this experiment to be done on him. firstborn lasted two days — he said no thanks. please keep the sermons coming…

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