social experiment in progress

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been influenced by this video by sadhguru jaggi vasudev…

trying to hop off my pedestal.
egad my pedestal isn’t a tallish stool that I thought it was. erm. it’s made of quicksand.

for the three days since I watched this video, i am actively trying to change my perspective of my firstborn. i try to think he is a cherished friend — say someone like V.

and if he really was, i figure he would get my attention, my regard, an open heart and conversation.

else, standing on that icky sticky pedestal, i have been bossy, judgmental, impatient and non-specifically rude.

sigh. what a lot of work lies ahead in the clean-up.

i hope your pedestal is just a low low stool. easy hop on easy hop off.

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14 responses »

    • “Struggling with firstborn” these are the eternal words of motherhood.
      chillpill someone!

      thanks for the book link, I read the review on amazon , and it is the sort of book I would like

  1. Thanks for the video.
    Just yesterday, as I was talking to a cousin, who is mom of a kid my own kid’s age, she bemoaned the amount of time she has to spend with her child’s lessons, and it bothered me so much because I consider it an achievement if I remember which section (and even better, class) my daughter is in. I beat myself over my irresponsibility as mom. However when I gave the kid her daily squeeze-breath-out hug at night and I saw the independent and happy child she is, I realise that what she wanted was not a monitor around the house, but a friend, and I think (or hope) I am being that.
    Oh well, parenting is so fuzzy.
    And my comment ended up longer than your post ! Sorry.

  2. mom of an only daughter here. thanks for sharing the video its just the right thing I needed. it is a hourly struggle to get off that assumed pedestal and it is such a terrible WIP…..how i wish i could just reciprocate the kindness and sensitivity that comes so easily to children..

    sometimes our situations are boring and repetitive that we both have settled to refer to the theme by number…you know its #8 today – ..it takes the heat out of the moment but does nothing to my sense of guilt . it just breaks my heart to think that she will be gone to college in 7 or so years – so i have bargained with her that she should let me hug her in public and will let me move to a town closer to wherever she may live – all this is usually met with the same answer, in the same tone that she gets to some of her questions – lets see shall we? 🙂

    blip on the radar it is, this parenting….

    you know it was your comment on a only girl child on some blog that led me here..and I am so glad it did …:) gosh i should really send that email to you

    • hey R! you should totally watch sadhguru!

      I loved his funny story about a lion who killed a bull, ate it up and let out a roar! the hunters promptly shot him — the moral of the story is that there’s no point opening your month when you are full of bull !

      sahdguru shot down many of my wrong premises, R. it’s always nice to start over a new leaf from wherever I am.
      and I too am glad that you said hello, when you did.

      1. we are on the same page and 2. we can agree to disagree, as well — hey! that means you are my friend!

  3. Pingback: Not a pedestal but more like a ten foot ladder… | Imprints on the sands of time

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