I am excessively ambitious for my kids, just like your average helicopter mum. I could call it grooming or moulding.
But pushy should do.
If I could make them do exactly as I say, then
I’d like for them both to be smile millionaires, like paramahansa yogananda wrote.
I have been thinking of his words this week,
“Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.”
And everyday when I fetch them from school, I ask them if they were smile millionaires ?
Today, I told baby param that smiling gives you energy when you are tired. And he bought it.
Now, to practice what I stood on my pedestal and preached.
at kalaripayatu class then,
Usually, I am thoughtful and watchful.
Am I getting it right? Am I kicking as high as a 36 year old mother of two can? am I swivelling or are my hips lying? Did that falter look awkward? Ulp. There. Another falter. Am I improving at ALL? Omg ! is that woman wearing skin coloured tights and bending over? It looks ghastly! I mean she should really move away from my line of vision at least. And what about that short mum, What? She joined after me and she can already do the back bend?
I did my routine with a smile today.
I smiled during the lunges, the punches and the break. I smiled when I jumped. I smiled when I stretched. I smiled at people, I smiled at the space between two people. I smiled at my instructor, when she wasn’t looking. I smiled at her when she was. I smiled watching a child do her routine, as intensely and gracefully as the instructor. I smiled at the colours of the flowers arranged at the altar.
Today, there was only the smile. No thought. No mind chatter. Just the smile. And maybe I jumped higher than I usually did?